Trump declares himself Emperor

“I pardon me” says His Majesty Donald I in first Royal act

Donald Trump has declared himself Emperor of the United States, the High Seas, and Space, in a move likely to infuriate his Democratic opponents in the soon-to-be-abolished Congress.

The Coronation of His Majesty Donald I will take place on 4 July, renamed ‘Imperial Glory day’.

The first Imperial Proclamation announced a full pardon for ‘the former President Trump (that is, my own self) for all the imaginary crimes alleged against me by those sick individuals, the media, lawyers, critics, my wives, and opponents of American Imperial Greatness.”

 

Emperor Donald denied that he had overthrown the American republic as a tax dodge, in order to assert immunity from a string of judicial investigations.

“His Majesty has carefully considered the different constitutional models available throughout history, and decided that ‘Divine Imperial’ is the style best suited to the leadership he brings to America” a White Palace spokes-serf said.

Left: the new official portrait ‘His Imperial Majesty at play’, which will hang in all American schools, Embassies and shops