‘FreedomBeebies’ TV to promote ‘Brexit values for tots’

Famous names to voice “Tugboat Boris…and Friends

BritFlix, the Brexit-supporting subscription channel, today launched a new cartoon series Tugboat Boris… and Friends, the adventures of a lovable, dangerously clumsy pilot ship and a cast of doughty British vessels, including Large Liam the bulk container, and Andrea the migrant spotter plane. Dusky, the Asian ‘exotic foods’ barge (Priti Patel) adds a touch of exotic glamour.

The series will be narrated by the gravelly tones of Brexit Secretary David Davis, who hinted that he may be willing to combine more TV voiceover work with his day-job of negotiating Britain’s exit from the EU.

Guest star Lesley Grantham voices Barry the no-questions-asked imported hazardous waste sloop.  But the DUP’s Nigel Dodds pulled out of voicing Paddy the Belfast Steamer, accusing the producers of tarring reliable if dour Ulster passenger craft with ‘Roman Catholic feckless charm’. James Nesbitt is available.

The new ‘FreedomBeebies’ channel aims to teach children to be citizens of a low-tax, free-trading Britain. Educational programmes include The Numbers on the Bus Go Up and Down, and early years reading programme A is for Article 50. Drama The Free Movement Boy from Space will, say producers, terrify pre-school children by showing the eerie effects of uncontrolled alien migration.