‘No’ campaigners into third day of just shouting ‘sluts’

“You can hardly jail women for 14 years for anything now” laments Matty Hayes

Ireland’s defeated ‘No’ campaigners are well into day three of shouting ‘hussies, sluts, hoers’ at the TV, random passers by and just by themselves, in a room, as the reality of the referendum vote sinks in.

Several prominent ‘No’ campaigners have complained about their marginalised voice, on radio, TV, and in their regular national press columns. Overcome with shock at the realisation that women are now on the loose in Ireland, unconstrained by any restrictions carrying a 14 year jail term, the ‘No’ campaign leadership are “just taking a few days.”

Asked about any constructive suggestions to meet ‘No’ voters’ concerns through forthcoming abortion legislation, ‘No’ spokesman Matty Hayes said:

“Wha’? I’ll just be shouting for a while now, boy. Look, there’s one: dirty, hairy English-lovin’ hoers!”