UK almost out of marriageable Royals

Recycling William may be only option, says Palace

Britain’s stock of marriageable Royals have fallen so low that Buckingham Palace fears they may not be able to keep up with national and global demand for fairytale weddings concealing deep wells of unhappiness and class differences.

“In Brexit Britain the demand for an annual orgy of carriages and ahistorical triumphalism is insatiable”, admitted Mr Edmund Blackadder, Lord High Media Adviser in Waiting to the Royal Household.

“We may have to ask Prince William to separate and consider one of the Royal House of Kardashian.”

“Alternatively, Harry and Meghan could announce they’re getting a dog. That should keep Britain on tenterhooks for years.”