Royal Wedding to be Crowdfunded

Send us what you can, plead Harry, Meghan

In a break with tradition, Prince Harry’s marriage to Meghan Markle will be the first Royal Wedding to be paid for entirely by Crowdfunding, the Wallow has learned.

Guests have already been asked to bring their own sandwiches, and maybe crisps or a fizzy drink for the Wedding breakfast. But now the Royal couple have gone a step further, launching a soft-focus appeal for donations “to make our day special.”

Palace spokesman Edmund Blackadder assured potential donors that their money would be well spent:

“In these days of austerity, it’s unreasonable to expect Britain’s richest family to pay for lunch. And Elton John doesn’t come cheap, either. So nation’s favourite Prince Harry and the adorable Miss Markle are asking you to reach into your pockets for this worthy cause.”

The wedding would be a modest affair, Mr Blackadder continued, with half the usual number of unicorns, and napkins only made of £50 notes.

“Of course, any money left over will go to charity. Probably those soldiers without feet, or something.”