Britain too divided to scratch its own arse, but knows who to blame

UK voters still think racism is a super power

British voters have delivered a clear verdict in local council elections across England and Wales: it’s all someone else’s fault.

Eastern Europeans, probably. Or maybe the Jews. Definitely a plot masterminded by the EU.

Facing collapsing public services, government chaos, and crisis in the Brexit talks which will shape their economic future, the UK’s bitterly divided voters decided that they want a bit more of the same, plus some more scapegoating.

Theresa May’s Tories received firm backing from voters on their flagship policies of fighting like cats in a sack over Brexit and deporting Lenny Henry to Jamaica.

Labour’s cunning plan to support Brexit while looking a bit embarrased delivered a massive swing of 0.0% across England. Charismatic Jeremy Corbyn’s amiable anti-Semitism managed to mobilise several thousand extra voters in London to come out and vote. For the Tories.