UK unveils technological solution for Irish border

Queues and complaints will literally be Exterminated, say British Ministers

British Ministers today unveiled the technological solution to the Irish border problem which they have been secretly working on for months.

Known as the “Dalek”, the completely harmless machines will patrol the border almost invisibly, checking the occasional lorry, sharing a knowing joke with cattle smugglers and exterminating any who dare question Theresa May’s promise of a frictionless border.

UK Brexit lead David Davis denied that the new British government slogan of “Ex-ter-min-ate!“, repeated endlessly in a murderously screaming rant, represented a change of tone in response to Irish concerns about a hard border.

“Look, we’ve always said that the British government won’t tolerate a hard border in Ireland. The Dalek project will make sure that the few cowed, enslaved survivors understand that fully.”

 

David Davis unveils the new invisible border guards