Britain to go and live under the sea

“Geography no barrier to underwater Brexit success”, says government

Britain is to go and live under the sea to maximise the opportunities from Brexit, the government has confirmed.

David Davis, the UK’s Brexit chief, confirmed that the UK’s new location would be “somewhere in the middle of the Pacific, deep underwater and far away from the interfering Brussels bureaucrats.” He would not reveal the exact location as “we don’t want to show our hand to the EU”.

Davis rejected concerns that the government had not carried out a thorough impact assessment of plunging 65m oxygen-breathing UK citizens, their homes, schools and farms deep under the ocean. “Geography is no barrier to Brexit success.”