Lies to get smaller as Brexit costs rise

Leavers criticised for hiding price rises through resizing Britain’s favourite Brexit lies

Some of Britain’s best-loved Brexit lies are getting smaller while costs remain the same or rise for UK consumers, it emerged yesterday.

Brexiteers have been criticised for ‘resizing’ their lies, while still making up the same amount of shite about why we should feel a warm glow of pride about it. Slow-witted consumer groups belatedly condemned the new ‘Freedom-size’ lies:

“Take the nation’s favourite, bus-sized lie about the NHS. This now comes as plastic toy sized, is worthless, but will still cost consumers at least £350m.”

But hard Brexit advocates Dream, Britain said: “Everyone knew what they were voting for. You can’t put a price on bite-sized freedom.”