‘Blue’ are latest ‘was it really any good?’ British icon to return

Talent-free publicity whores join Brexiteers to surf patriotic wave of blue fever

Lovable will-humiliate-themselves-for-pennies former boyband scamps Blue have become the latest scavengers to feed on the feverishly nostalgic British public.

Announcing their return on ITV’s This Morning, Simon, Duncan, Anthony and glove puppet Lee said that the time was right to test the British public’s appetite for half-remembered retro nonsense. Demonstrating just how easy this could be, cheeky Anthony made Holly Willoughby gasp as he tore off a tight-fitting t-shirt with EU stars to reveal the band’s new blue logo against a Union Jack background, shouting “back to Blue!”as ITV’s mid-morning audience cheered.

Blue’s puppet-master Simon Cowell said: “look, if enough people think that a passport to three hour queues alongside the Tazbekistanis at every airport in Europe – but which is now coloured blue – is worth buying, there’s no reason they won’t lap up one of even my shittiest boybands, sprayed with the same patriotic colour.”