Government denies it just sits around all day watching porn, drinking beer and making shit up about Brexit

We’re not laughing at you, we’re laughing with you, May clarifies

Theresa May has clarified that the entire Cabinet do not spend all day sitting around in their pants, watching porn and rousing themselves only to make some shit up about Brexit when they absolutely have to say something.

Grilled by Parliament’s powerful Liaison Committee, the Prime Minster clarified that the government wasn’t laughing at Britain’s representative institutions, but along with them.

 

“Just look at what we have achieved on Brexit so far”, May told open-mouthed MPs: “do you think the UK’s Brexit leadership team could have achieved all that having done no preparation at all, and having just finished the last series of Game of Thrones at a single, lager-fuelled all-night sitting, just before catching the Eurostar still wearing yesterday’s pants?”

Hilary Benn would rather have been in the pub.

“Back to mine for Swedish lesbians in blackcurrant jam?”

“I’ll get the Stellas in”