David Davis denies he is quitting politics to return to professional wrestling

UK Brexit chief yearns to return to Saturday afternoon pantomime violence circuit as ‘Mr Tantrum’

David Davis has denied reports that he is to sensationally step down as Brexit Secretary to return to Saturday morning wrestling on ITV.

As tensions rise within the British Cabinet and Brexit negotiating realities refuse to bend to his breezy assurances, Davis has grown frustrated. Daytime drinking friends have let it be known for some time that the UK’s Brexit chief craves a return to the simpler certainties of asserting his virility in the wrestling ring.

Davis appeared on ITV’s World of Sport throughout the 1970s and 80s, in a variety of wrestling guises; as the Reservist, the Yorkshire Avenger, and Mr Tantrum. He has never given up hopes of returning to the ring professionally.

While never reaching the national fame of Giant Haystacks or Big Daddy, Davis was a popular and respected member of the pantomime violence circuit. One wrestling promoter said: “the ladies of a certain age in Margate Leisure Centre would go wild if gravelly-voiced Mr Tantrum returned to Saturday lunchtime wrestling. There’ll always be a home here for Mr Davis.”