Priti Patel to star as ‘Brexit Miss Marple’

Glamorous reboot pits detective against clumsily murderous Cabinet rivals

Cabinet divisions over Brexit take to the airways this weekend as ITV4 launches a new Miss Marple starring International Development Secretary Priti Patel as the spinster sleuth.

The foxy new arrival in Chipping Leavebury is a far cry from Agatha Christie’s wizened but perceptive detective. Patel’s own production company, Priti in Pink, insisted on complete creative control of the radical reboot.

The head of the UK’s £13bn aid budget to the world’s poorest people will be filmed in elegant 1930s glamour, effortlessly outmanoeuvering her Brexit Cabinet colleagues, cast as potential murderers, comic servants, and dimwitted policemen.

A spokesman for Patel denied that the glossy vanity project is a Tory leadership move. But ITV executives are playing on the rivalry, scheduling the series head to head on Sunday nights with David Davis’ ‘Yorkshire noir’ crime drama Haltemprice.