Animals of Farthing Wood plead for mercy under UK-US trade deal 

Liam Fox agrees compulsory chlorination of adorable woodland creatures

Some of Britain’s best-loved cartoon animals have issued a last ditch plea for mercy after the British government agreed to chlorinate wood-dwelling creatures under the terms of a new US trade deal.

The Farthing Wood dwellers face the destruction of their earthy homes and the chlorination and shrink wrapping of their helpless offspring under plans announced today by Trade Secretary Liam Fox.

Voicing the piteous plea of Vixen, Kestrel, Mole and Father and Mother Rabbit, the Animals’ wise old spokesBadger said:

“Please. We accept the will of the people. Although long-protected by the EU Habitats Directive, the Animals of Farthing Wood welcome the opportunity presented by Brexit to set out on another dangerous Journey Home to some new, doubtless sunny wooded upland. But spare our blind, helpless young.”

But Trade Secretary and non-woodland ‘Liam’ Fox dismissed any hopes that a desperate race against time could save the Animals this time, saying: “this will be their Final Journey. Anyway, Adder voted Leave.”