Brexit Britain™ to exist as thrilling, cake-filled virtual reality

Offline UK to stay in EU for purely ‘real world’ purposes.

The Treasury today announced that the government’s vision of a buccaneering, globally triumphant UK freed from the shackles of the EU, will be launched as virtual reality Brexit Britain™ in 2019.

Voters will receive headsets that invite them to enter an adventurous world of trading on the High Seas, have a highly paid ‘job’ with Sir James Dyson, design Maclaren cars, or simply enjoy the spectacular collapse of the EU into war and famine in surround-sound.

Brexit Britain™ headsets block out any sound, light or sensations from the offline world, and will be required wearing 24 hours a day. A Treasury spokesman said:

“Of course, from 2019 onwards, offline Britain will stay within the EU’s rules a certain amount – say, 100%. But that’s purely for technical areas such as the economy. You won’t notice a thing with a headset strapped on.”